Sometimes It's Better To Say Nothing At All

A difficult mother, an abusive husband (now ex), and many years of therapy have taught me what I should tolerate and what I should reject in the behavior of other people. And as the cool sign pictured here indicates, I do not need to tolerate nastiness. I'm not of the belief that anyone should tolerate nastiness, but I certainly will not.

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For me this includes the above-board out and out nastiness some people display, as well as the behind the smile, cattiness that other people display. I think it's the difference between aggression and passive-aggression.

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Sadly, in recent weeks I've encountered both active aggression and passive aggression in the behavior of other people within the local BDSM community. The very people from whom I expect courtesy, politeness, tolerance, and the ability to agree to disagree, I found just the opposite. And oh so much drama. Good heavens, just grow up! Different situations on 2 different message boards, and 2 very different groups of people within the lifestyle, and still I have to read this bile. :(

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I lived with enough of this type of thing in the past, and I don't choose to live with it now or in the present. It's at times like this when I recall one of the sayings my Dad employed with my bothers and sister, "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all." Sounds like a polite way of telling your child to shut up, lol, but really, pretty good advice if you think about it.

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I have a dream, and while there will always be nasty people in the world, I know there will, I am not required to tolerate such poor behavior. So perhaps a change in the sign above is required, Be Nice, or I'll Leave.

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Tribute

The other day I was cleaning out boxes, drawers, and other containers of acculmulated trinkets and what-not when I came across a key chain that belonged to my Dad. When he turned 60 we threw a surprise party for him, and one of the guests gave him this little keychain, engraved with his name and the occassion.

Dad immediately put his car key and house key on it, and used it everyday, until the day he died 9 1/2 years later. At that time Mom gave me Dad's vehicle, and the keys for it, which were on the keychain, along with his key to their house. So when I found the keychain, it still had a copy of Mom's housekey on it, even though the car key was long gone like the car.

I have my own key to Mom's house, so I thought I'd give that key to my son, and figured I'd just let him have the whole keychain, knowing that he'd treasure it - his grandfather was perhaps one of the greatest loves of my son's life.

As I thought about this, and held that keychain in my hand, I could "feel" my Dad. He had touched that keychain so often, and kept it in his pocket when not in use. It was worn smooth, and held his aura.

When the time came to let my son have the keychain, I could barely stop myself from crying. Never did I dream this would affect me so strongly, or that I would want so badly to hold onto this little piece of my Dad.

Tonight, as I drove my son to his own father's house for the weekend, I told him to be sure to take his house key since W/we wouldn't be home on Sunday. And I watched him put my Dad's keychain, now containing the key to this house along with Dad's key to his and Mom's house, into his pocket, and I choked up all over again.

There must be some pretty powerful ju-ju or something in that keychain. I'm convinced it's because he held it so tightly and so often and so close to himself everyday for almost a decade. I don't really want the keychain back, I really do want my son to have it, I just want my Dad back.

But everyone who ever knew him feels the same way, for there was no greater man of honor and caring and compassion than my Dad.

Next Wednesday marks the day my Dad entered the hospital for the last time, and a week from tomorrow (Saturday the 22nd) marks the day he left this earth - back in 1999. And yet I can still hear his voice, the way he cleared his throat, I can still smell his skin, his scent, and feel his presence. Truly I was the luckiest little girl on this earth to have had a Father this wonderful.

Thank you Daddy, I miss you, and I love you.

:)

Parable of the Day

TAKE DOWN the FEEDER!

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I bought a bird feeder.

I hung it on my back porch

and filled it lovingly with seed.

It was indeed a beautiful bird feeder.

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Within a week we had hundreds of birds

taking advantage of the continuous flow of free

and easily accessible food.

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But then the birds started building nests

in the boards of the patio,

above the table, and next to the barbecue.

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Then came the bird shit.

It was everywhere;

on the patio tile, the chairs,

the table ... everywhere!

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Then some of the birds turned mean.

They would dive bomb me and try to peck me

even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

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And other birds were boisterous and loud.

They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed

at all hours of the day and night and

demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

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After a while, I couldn't even sit

on my own back porch anymore.

So I took down the bird feeder

and in three days the birds were gone.

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I cleaned up their mess and took down

the many nests they had built all over the patio.

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Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ... quiet,

serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

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Sometimes we need to take down the feeders in our own worlds in order to be able to live in peace and health. If it doesn't work for you, no matter how good your intentions were when you put it up, then take the feeder down.

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Thanks Anyway

To all my friends who in 2007 sent me best "wishes", chain letters, "angel" letter or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something. NONE OF THEM WORKED!

For 2008, could you please just send money, chocolate, movie tickets, or gasoline vouchers. Thank you!

The Only Silver Lining I Can Find Right Now

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Visualization Works

"The future you see is the future you get."
-- Robert G Allen

This may sound trite, and if I had not experienced this to be true I would think it trite also. But in fact, I know it is true. It's not always easy to keep believing that you will have the future you desire. Sometimes current events seem like impossible obstacles that can never be surmounted.

But when I've remained strong, believing in the impossible, even though I didn't understand how, the future I saw was indeed the future I got. And this has happened more than once in my life.

So, trite saying, feel good platitude, or honest down to earth truth; you decide for yourself. But I would challenge any nay sayers to keep an open mind. It really has worked for me.

Perhaps I Need A Massage

January 17, 2008
Healing Our Bodies
Touch

Sometimes we might concentrate so much on our spiritual lives that we overlook the wonders of being present in our physical form. When we are more aware of the fact that our bodies are also important in terms of our personal growth, we may find it easier to nurture them. One of the most powerful ways to do this is through human touch, for a loving, comforting touch allows us to access the part of ourselves that yearns for a sense of oneness with the world around us. Even simple forms of touch connect us not just to our bodies but also to the energetic presence of other people.

There are so many ways to incorporate touch in our daily lives, one of the easiest being a heartfelt embrace. Just making a point to hug someone on a daily basis and really feel our energy pass between each other can strengthen the bonds that keep us together. Hugs help us heal any hurt or upset we may have recently experienced by letting us release into the moment of the embrace and realize that no matter what happens to us, we have someone in our lives who supports and cares for us.

Another nourishing form of touch is massage. While we may think of massage as a luxury, it is actually an ancient form of healing that enables us to open up our energetic pathways in order to receive unlimited energy from the universe. It doesn’t matter whether a simple massage comes from a loved one or a massage therapist, but by giving ourselves the gift of massage every once in a while, we are doing something healthy and beneficial for our bodies. Massage helps our bodies activate their own restorative powers, creating a wonderful way to engage fully in our own healing.

Letting ourselves take advantage of the healing nature of touch creates space where we can truly live in and experience the world through our bodies, allowing us to completely immerse ourselves in the loving sense of joy and wonder that is our life.