Wednesday, July 22, 2009

18 And Counting

Today is my son's 18th birthday. I wished him well, but he's been in another state visiting his girlfriend since last Thursday, and won't be back till tomorrow, so no giving gifts or a celebratory meal and birthday cake till after he comes home.

It's weird. It's the first time not being with my child on his birthday. It's just the beginning though. I know that as they get older and live their own lives being apart from children on their special day is more commonplace. I guess I'm just a little melancholy this first time. And really, 18 is such a milestone in our society. He's been away a lot this summer, as well as working when he's home, so I've been alone alot this summer. I've loved it actually, but it's so different from last summer. He and his friends were here constantly, such fun times.

Constant change. I've mentioned before that I love it, need it, and thrive on it. I meant in terms of myself and my personal growth and development. I meant in the ways and amounts I want, like, and need. In order to not feel static and stagnant. Not sure I like the changes with loved ones. Taking my son further from me, even though I know it's normal, natural, and healthy. Doesn't mean I have to love it. I can cut the apron strings and be glad he's moving on and into his own life without loving it. I know I'll adjust fine.

So Happy Birthday to my son. 18 years ago today I began this journey. I wonder what the next 18 years have in store?



  1. It seems kids grow up so fast. Where do the years go?

  2. I know what you mean Tapesty. My son was away at uni for his 18th and same as you it was the first time I've not been with him for his birthday but they grow so fast and you have to let them spread their wings.

    Happy belated 18th to your son.


  3. Happy 18th to the birthday boy.

    This post has helped me see the 'issues' I sometimes have around change. You're right, its not the changes I want and need I fret about, its the ones which others want and need which impact on my world regardless of whether I want or need them or not. Hmmmmm.....interesting.

    love and hugs xxx

  4. Oh me too, me too. This 'growing up" thing is hard on us Moms! Sara

  5. Kitten, I have no idea where the time goes. If you ever figure it let me know! :) I told a harried mother of 3 young children in the grocery store last week to enjoy every moment. Of course she looked at me like I was stupid, lol.

    Ronnie, you're so right, we're more like the "wind beneath their wings" helping them to reach new heights. I think it's part of the deal with being a Mom - helping our kids to grow up and be all they can.

    M:e, this particular change is quite the stumbling block too, in that as a Mom, as Ronnie said, we have to let them spread their wings, even when that means leaving us behind. We're proud of them and want this for them, even though we lose control and closeness and other things we're used to having as we raise them. Same is true when changes come to other areas of life and loved ones too, yet I wouldn't have it any other way. Doesn't mean I won't worry and fret a bit, and perhaps feel a bit melancholy at times. Looking at pictures of him as a baby, then 1 year old, and every year and stage as he grew - omg I loved every minute of it! He was so awesome every step of the way, and I miss those times, even as I look forward to all that the future has in store for him.

    Sara, it's a blessing to hear that I'm not alone, and that it's OK that this is a little hard. Doesn't mean I'm not letting him go, just means it's natural to feel a bit weirded out by it all. Thank you!