Sunday, July 26, 2009

A Rant

Yep. I am going to rant.

I don't understand how people we know and love can be so utterly lacking in basic manners. I still love them, and will continue to be gracious to them, but it irritates me to no end when folks do not follow up a gift with a simple "Thank you." It doesn't have to be a fancy note. A simple phone call to express appreciation or gratitude is sufficient for me. I'm also content with a simple line item left on my Facebook wall.

I'm referring to nieces and nephews here, and it really irks me. I think they know better, and I KNOW their parents know better. I'm faithful to send birthday gifts to the children, and cards to all the parents, and yet few if any bother to follow up.


Some would say to stop sending the gifts if they can't at least let me know they received them, and possibly say "Thanks." I'm not sure why I don't cease with the giving Maybe partly because I like to give (gee there's a shock) and I don't want to stoop to their level. And truly, the gifts aren't given with a string attached. But I never thought of expressing thanks as a string attached to a gift.

On a similar note, I'm irked that Master's siblings never ever bother to send Him a birthday card - they certainly know when His birthday is as they are all older than Him. And I also think it's beyond the pale that my ex-husband's siblings and mother stopped sending my son any cards or gifts for birthdays and Christmas when we divorced. Yep. My son's aunts and uncles and grandmother on his father's side ignore his existence. (I assure you it isn't because he ever failed to send a Thank you note!) I guess they think this hurts me, but they are wrong. They have lost the presence in their lives of a truly remarkable young man. That hurts them even if they don't think it does.

I truly am baffled as to the bad behavior of people we are related to. Mostly I don't give it a thought. But I've just sent quite a few gifts and cards of one sort or another and also celebrated my son's and my Master's birthday's, and so this is fresh in my mind.

OK. Rant done. I know there is no way to control the behavior and actions of other people, and to even allow myself this brief fuss is a huge waste of my time. But sometimes it just feels better to get it off my chest. I'm not expecting anything to change. Doesn't mean I have any respect for the folks in question though.



  1. I have a story about this!
    Many moons ago, after Christmas, my wife commented to me that she was annoyed that not a single member of her family had said thank you, for all the various gifts.

    It transpired that her mother, who was travelling down to see everyone, had offered to deliver said gifts for her/us.

    It also transpired that she (mother-in-law) had relabeled said gifts so that they were from her and not us, hence not a single thank you to us.

    Aaaah, those were the days.

  2. I agree Tapestry, it used to annoy me that I'd send all nieces/nephews birthday cards and gifts but they never bothered to send anything when it was our sons. I thought about stopping but same as you, I like to buy and send. Now I just accept people are like that.

    When my son was small (before he could write) I made sure he sent a thank you colouring or picture and then as he got older a note. He still sends a thank you note now for gifts and he's 21.


    PS - I had a friends mother who used to do the same as Mr C's MIL

  3. As someone who was taught both basic good manners and to treat people as I'd like to be treated, the casual acceptance of gifts or simple kindnesses have always bemused me. The courtesies we extend to each other take so little to do yet mean so much don't they?

    love and hugs xxx

  4. Mr C, the more I hear about your former MIL the less I like her, lol. I suspect you felt the same way! :)

    Ronnie, I did the same thing with my son when he was little, and I hope that he will always understand the importance of exercising good manners.

    M:e, I think you have a better word choice, at least one that will benefit me more - "bemused". Rather than being angry or upset about the behavior of others, I am bemused. ("to cause to have feelings of wry or tolerant amusement"). Yep, I think that's the healthier way for me to go - that, and just forgetting about and letting go that which I cannot change. I am only responsible for myself, and have only myself to answer for.