So today is the big day, my Mom is moving away to a city 5 hours drive away to live with my sister.
I do not know how this is going to be for me, or for my mom. I'm prepared for all manner of emotions and feelings to surface, now and in the days, weeks, and months to come for me. And I'm quite worried about how Mom will cope and adjust. I'm not certain this is in her best interest and I'm apprehensive at best. I hope she thrives and that all my worries were for naught.
I'll take any positive energy for Mom and myself with gratefulness. There are places in my heart that feel she is dying and that I will never see her again. And it hits me at random times. I guess I'm going to have to experience a grieving process even though she is actually still alive.
All very new and weird territory for me. Of Mom's 4 children I'm the one (the only one) who remained geographically close, the others all moved far away.
Add this to the start-up of the school year and my adjustment from stay-at-home slave to working professional full time, and I'm needing to be very careful and gentle with myself these days. And not really a lot left over for anyone else - not good.
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I understand exactly how you are feeling. The emotions involved in dealing with elderly parents, like I have, are difficult to deal with. It's not made easier when they are far away. Best wishes for you.
ReplyDeleteHuge hugs beautiful, and lots of positive light for you, your Mum and your family. You know I completely understand these. As Spanky says, the emotions will never be made easier by geographical distance. Do whatever you need to do to be good to you, because that's not only in yours but everyone else's best interests (and yeah, I know you know that, but you also knew I'd say it...lol).
ReplyDeleteLove you my friend. You know where I am if talking helps.
love and hugs xxx
It hurts.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long, brutal day, and I'm sad.
I feel adrift, as if the rug is pulled out from under me because for the first time in my life there is no safety blanket - no plan b - no where to go if my world falls apart. I never wanted to live with Mom, but deep inside, without being aware of it, I knew that I could always live with her if I needed to.
Now I have to stand on my own 2 feet no matter what.
It's irrational to feel this way since I've been successfully standing on my own 2 feet for the last 20+ years, and especially the last 5 or so since the divorce.
But it's what I'm feeling nevertheless.
Thanks Spanky and M:e for the understanding and support and encouragement.
I will get through this, I will survive, and I will thrive.
I'll just probably cry some too.
Just sending big hugs Tapestry.
ReplyDeleteTake care and be gentle with yourself.
Love.
Ronnie
xx
Oh I don't think any of that is actually irrational, I'd say that's normal. It's a pretty big adjustment really.
ReplyDeleteKind thoughts to you as always.
Thanks to you both, Ronnie and Mr C. I can feel the care and concern and it helps.
ReplyDeleteMr C, I'm thinking that somewhere deep down this move, which I've known about for some time, is what dredged up all the thoughts of the trains.
Not sure, just a thought.
Hmmm....the train conversation. That's very interesting that you are tentatively linking these, you are probably right to.
ReplyDeleteThank you for remembering my interest in that, I'm impressed!
You're very welcome. Far from forgetting your request to let you know about my discoveries, I've pondered your words and my experiences at length as I tried to figure this all out.
ReplyDeleteStill can't say I've figured it out, at least not completely.