Sunday, August 29, 2010

Bizarre Bazaar

So there's been a large assortment of emotions running through me these days, a bazaar if you will. A veritable smorgasbord of feelings. I think the main culprit is the child unit going off to college. He's living about 3 hours away now, on campus, and has embarked on a new chapter of his life. Which in turn means I've embarked on a new chapter of my life. And there is such joy and excitement in me for him at this step along his life path. There is also sadness and intense heartbreak in me for me at this step along my life path. It's more than a bit bizarre to be so happy and so sad all at the same time.

As I think I mentioned before, I do know all this is normal, and will certainly pass. Time will reassure and reduce feelings of anxiety.

Contributing to the bazaar of course is my recent marriage to Master. And that's been talked about a lot too, and as with children growing up, emotions surrounding marriage are normal also.

And then, Mom had a couple of emergency visits to the hospital followed by surgery, and is now undergoing a very slow recovery at home. Supporting my sister and Mom through this difficulty is emotional as well.

And let's not forget that I remain unhappy with my job, and continue to seek a new position. I don't dislike the work or the industry, but am not happy with the state of affairs within the department and those I work for. I dislike being micro-managed, and this has recently grown worse as the ineptitude of the micro-managers has grown. Trying to maintain a positive approach each day at work taxes my best acting skills. Seeking (and not finding) a change in job and/or career has been disheartening too, but I hope that in time I will find success.

So, lots of things a-swirl in this Tapestry, and the combination is quite bizarre. I'm not naturally bi-polar, so the roller coaster ride can be exhausting. I much prefer a drama-free zone for my life. And so I work hard to keep all these roiling emotions in perspective, reminding myself that all will be well.

Another thing I have found to be bizarre lately is the seeming increase in Anonymous comments around the blog-land. Since we can create a profile and a name (which are in fact anonymous) how lazy is it to not even bother and just comment as an anonymous person? Seems odd. But what's far worse than remaining anonymous in a comment, is the need of some of these folks to spew vitriol. None of the blogs I read would object to someone sharing a comment that disagreed or expressed an opposing view. But all of them (and most of the readers) do object to having such views stated in a nasty and abusive way.

I find the dichotomy of remaining anonymous combined with the attention-seeking aspect of the words they use quite interesting. There are elements of power hunger, need for control, and lots of abuse contained in the way some of these folks write. If they really wanted to give any validity or authority to their words they would not remain anonymous. This combination of behaviors is a full-on buffet of psychological illnesses, or perhaps manifestations of an illness. A bazaar of the bizarre as it were.

The best advice anyone could follow in dealing with these types of people is to dis-engage. Do not reply to, do not acknowledge, just ignore. Delete. The whole point of what these people do is to get attention. And if the only way they can get that attention is by behaving poorly, then so much the better. But truly, the only way for them to ever stop or go away is if they get no satisfactory response (which means no response at all) from their remarks.

It's a complete power trip for them to see that they have the ability to upset, hurt, and enrage someone else. Anyone else. They are happy to upset the blog owner for sure, but they also gain pleasure in upsetting other commenters. Don't give your power away to them. Don't reply, don't acknowledge, just ignore and/or delete. It's truly the only way to be rid of them. If they are, in fact genuine, they will find a way to share an opposing point of view in a courteous and civil manner.

One of the hardest things for humans to accept, I think, is the fact of their powerless over other people. This applies to the bloggers as well as the commenters. Just let it go, there really is nothing to see here folks, keep moving. I mean, do we really need to re-state the obvious that if you don't like what you read here to go away and don't read here? And do we really need to re-state the obvious that polite discourse does not include verbal bludgeoning of those you are addressing?

This whole phenomenon amazes me, and I find it bizarre. But I also know that this pattern comes and goes. Just be patient, these small-minded, weak, and impotent little people will tire of their games and go away. If you ignore them.


1 comment:

  1. I'm on the emotional roller-coaster too, albeit for different reasons. Hard isn't it when that's not our normal state. Let just keep reminding ourselves (and each other) that this too will pass!

    I've both witnessed and read about some of the nasty anonymous commenting that's been going on lately. I shake my head in disbelief each time I see or read about it. Like you say, best deleted and ignored.

    Huge hugs beautiful, and much love xxx