Thursday, June 8, 2006

"Good Mommy Moments"

Happy Thursday! One more day till the weekend, wahoooooooo! Been a mixed up week, some good parts and some not so good parts. The positive thing though is that even when there's icky stuff, my attitude has remained intact and positive. Yes life can be icky, but that doesn't mean I have to give in to negativity. That certainly won't help, or make anything better!

So Monday we were without Master. Tuesday we were together, but the pinched nerve in my back was so bad that I couldn't do much more than lie around. Wednesday I stayed home from work due to the pain, and even though Master thought it best to stay in and take it easy, I was uncomfortable enough that resting wasn't helping. So we went to the BESS meeting and munch and actually enjoyed ourselves very much. Arthur is an amazing presenter, and the topic was interesting too. Master noted the cognitive dissonance involved in hearing the people speaking through the wall about religious things while watching a BDSM presentation.

So today I went to work again, and made it through the day. I'm hoping to see my dear Jewel tonight, I've been so concerned about her. Luckily Kismet was able to spend some time this afternoon with her. When a friend and sister is in trouble we do pull together to help. I would have been lost without her in December, this is merely my chance to return the favor!

The kid has been cheerfully going about his chores, at least after I expressed my anger at his attitude Tuesday afternoon. Since then he's been much better. Master and I, my son's father and his girlfriend, all want very much to be able to trust this kid again. It's going to take a lot of time. And the debt of punishment/consequences that needs to be paid back will take quite awhile to work off. Hopefully he'll learn his lesson and think before he acts in the future.

I will say that during the aftermath of his truancy I learned some things about myself as well. I've tiptoed around him, sugar-coating everything, never wanting him to be unhappy. And when I explained his punishment (that Master prescribed) he became very upset and sad. I immediately wanted to alleviate that. But since I was given the instructions by Master, I couldn't. I must obey Master, first and foremost. And knowing that He also has my son's best interests at heart helps. Master reminded me that the punishment is not supposed to be easy or feel good. It's supposed to be difficult and painful in order to make an impact and teach a lesson. That's how the kid will learn not to do that again. He was right, I know. And when I spoke with my ex, he added some things to it. Seeing the kid every other weekend, there isn't much he can do, but he did take away PS2 and computer priveleges while visiting, and suggested that the allowance penalty we were originally imposing be tripled. I agreed to do so.

Meanwhile, my son has 2 friends over this afternoon, hanging out and playing games. This is such a new development for him, and it seems like a positive step. They're laughing and carrying on in the living room, playing Mario Party. I must confess, I'm having a very happy "Mommy" moment! Pray that this will continue.

So much needing my time and energy and attention, and through it all I'm striving to maintain balance. With Master's help I think I can. Besides the kid, I think my health and Master's health are the most important considerations. I think if I can keep the priorities straight, everything else will fall into place.


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