What's In A Word?

Recently my girl friend, her Dominant partner, my Master, and myself were having a discussion. My girl friend does not consider herself to be a masochist. I was just a little surprised, since I know she is very similar to me in this way. Her take on the matter is that since she doesn't seek pain for the sake of the pain alone, and since she doesn't give physical pain to herself, that she isn't a masochist.

Hmmm. I've never considered that a masochist operated alone, for me the understanding was that a masochist needed a sadist to complete the picture. But sure, I guess there are plenty of folks out there who enjoy hurting themselves, but is that a requirement of the term? If it is then no, I don't fit there either. I don't hurt myself. (Master says that's His job!) lol

And no, I don't like pain for the pain alone, for the sake of the pain. I like pain for the end result. The passage into the happy floaty place, and the sexual gratification too. Pain is something that in the correct circumstance I process as pleasure. Now if I stub my toe into the door while walking, that is not the correct circumstance, and it hurts in a bad way, and I generally will scream bloody murder (or at least some other profanities that good girls don't know.) ;) But in the context of play between Master and me pain isn't pain anymore. My mind feels the pain differently.

So really, my girl friend and I are very similar, but we call it by different terms. The dictionary states that a masochist is one who is given to masochism. OK fine, then what is masochism?

–noun

1. Psychiatry. The condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.

2. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.

3. the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.

4. the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

Origin: 1890–95; named after L. von Sacher-Masoch, who described it;


So do I have to fit all the definitions of the word? I don't think so. And does it really matter? Nope. Girl friend and I enjoy much the same activities for the same purpose, and we call ourselves 2 different things. And that's very good.

On a happy little side note W/we enjoyed a fabulous evening with them both and were treated to a delectable meal, prepared by their hands. What a blessing and joy to have friends we can be ourselves with.

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