Another Loss

I don't have a ton to share at the moment, but did want to let everyone know that W/we are once again dealing with loss here in dragonfly land. It was bad enough to lose O/our beloved Duke this past October, but 2008 wasn't done with U/us, and now W/we have said goodbye to Sir's longtime beloved cat, Ripley.

Sir has written here about Ripley. She was an important part of Sir's life for more years than my own son has been alive. Ripley was a lovable kitty, very curious and friendly, with enough spitfire in her to be interesting. She liked to play rough - oddly enough enjoying very physical play with Sir. It was funny to me from a purely BDSM point of view, the harder he'd "smack" her the happier she was. I'm a very gentle soul by nature, particularly with little animals, but she never enjoyed playing with me, lol.

My kitties have typically run away and hid when visitors came to the house but not Ripley. She loved to be out in the middle of the action, allowing people to pet her (and worship her as was her due.) Ripley always wanted to know what was going on and what all the excitement was. She was certainly far more courageous than my other kitty pets.

W/we will all miss her. There is only one pet left now, he has a few health issues of his own, but hopefully he'll hang around for awhile.

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Cool New Toy

No, no - don't go getting all excited, it's not that kind of toy! lol

I just found the coolest gadget on Listening to My Life called a Wordle.

So of course I had to try it out.

Pretty cool - I had no idea I had written so much about Christmas, not that I think that's a bad thing, just interesting. (If you want to see it larger just click on the word cloud - it will take you to the full-size version. Me and the formatting this morning did not get along.)

Give it a try - for no other reason than it's fun. I think we all need a bit more fun in our lives!

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Only Believe

I don't know why I had a revelation recently about my childhood Christmas experiences, but a revelation I did have. You see, I am significantly younger than my 3 siblings - enough that in official Birth Order speak I am considered an "only child" before "youngest". And for some reason it all of a sudden dawned on me that those older siblings pretended about Santa for many years, in order that I could have the childhood fantasy of Santa.

They didn't just talk about Santa, or refrain from spilling the beans, they created elaborate stories and scenes and scenarios to help me believe. I recall the middle of the night huddles listening to them whispering about hearing hooves on the roof.

This really was a gift from them, because being the youngest when they are so much older did help me to grow up before my time in many ways. I missed out on some of the things that little kids blissfully, and naively enjoy, and went straight to maturity - do not pass go, do not collect $200 - style. So this realization about their willingness to go along with it all and even go out of their way to give me the fantasy is quite special.

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Tee-Hee!

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Lots of Thoughts

I've actually got several blog topics rattling around in my mind - unfortunately I haven't had much time to devote to blogging! It's OK - a happy type of busy-ness during this Holiday season. O/our family observes Christmas (as I mentioned in my last entry.)

We've pared down much this holiday season, sending fewer greeting cards, giving fewer gifts, and generally seeking fewer extravagances while still providing quality opportunities for family time.

One small thing I enjoy as the Day of celebration draws closer is listening to a variety of Christmas music. There's one song which brings me to tears - it's by Newsong and it's called "The Christmas Shoes". It's a song that helps put all the little problems in life into perspective.



I heard another song on the radio the other day too. One I hadn't heard in many years, by Patty Lovelace, called "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye?" And it hit me hard and the tears started running down my face and I couldn't stop them. It isn't a Christmas song at all, but it still forces the listener to place the events of life into perspective.



There's been plenty of cheerful music and happiness going on too - please don't misunderstand. As I deal with some of the changes in my own life and make the adjustments needed, these are the songs and thoughts that stick with me.

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The Balance

Master asked me to update my wishlist and let Him know what I would like for Christmas. And I was stumped.

I'm never stumped when it comes to asking for gifts.

But boy howdy was I stumped.

I could not think of anything at all I wanted at first.

Well, not beyond having my dog back, and world peace of course. Just the big general things everyone wishes for. And frankly, I'd place more faith in the ability of science to bring me my dog back from the dead, than on world leaders to ever achieve lasting world peace. But anyway.

I look around O/our home, and W/we have anything and everything that a sane person could ever expect to have. W/we consume. When W/we want to, as W/we need to. Many of O/our possessions are enjoyed and put to good use. Some of the stuff just sits, unused, un-needed, or too time-consuming to fit our schedules.

And I realized that having the things W/we want does not make U/us happy.

Through one issue or another W/we have dealt with plenty of sadness and depression, lots of negative feelings. O/our material possessions have not helped U/us to cope with or work through any of the issues.

Sometimes I think the things W/we own end up owning U/us. It's rotten to be a slave to things which need to be taken care of.

So what was the answer to the question then.

Well, it turns out that what makes me happiest is when Master is happy. When He is at peace with Himself and His world, I am able to function. When He is in charge and feeling His power, I am whole. The best gift for me is to have a Master who is healthy and centered and balanced. Only He can do that for Himself, so the nicest thing He can give me is the gift of taking care of Himself.

And if He really wants to give me something that costs money, I realized that things which pampered the soul were the things I desired. Like a gift certificate for a pedicure. Or a massage. A facial. Perhaps a gift certificate to see a movie, or a play, or to a nice restaurant.

What appeals are the things which assist me with restoring balance and harmony to my life. I've dealt (generally privately) with so much imbalance and negativity in a variety of ways this year, that I feel very uncentered, and defeated. I realize I have not remained in tune with who I want to be in many instances. Yes, the words overwhelmed and lost come to mind here.

Material belongings can be such life-affirming things, but the getting and keeping and storing of too many of these possessions can be the opposite, life-draining. Preparing my Christmas wishlist has helped me to once again focus on that which is important, and to decide that somehow I need to re-center myself and become balanced again.

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Willing To Decide

This week's Ripple is a bullseye in my opinion. I have to share it:

Ripples v10.49: Decide! (Dec 8, 2008)

The Ripples Project: our tribe of 21,275
who believe tiny actions create big possibilities

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PEBBLE

If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
-Win Borden, submitted by Brett B, Madison WI

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BOULDER

Be willing to make decisions.
That's the most important quality in a good leader.
Don't fall victim to what I call
the Ready-Aim-Aim-Aim Syndrome.
You must be willing to fire.
-T. Boone Pickens, submitted by: Yuridia R., Reedsburg WI

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PONDER

Decide. You won't have to make the decision instantly and without thought. You will need to make the decision eventually. If it is time, just take a deep breath, remember that perfection is for amateurs (unless you're a heart surgeon), glance once more at the options and the available information, and DECIDE!

Peace,
Paul

JOIN US

Please join our tribe, it is free!
http://TheRipplesProject.org/Newsletter.php


For good karma, please forward RIPPLES!

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Fantastic Four

So I was innocently minding my own business and what do I find? Tagged! Yup, I've been tagged. What's a good girl to do? Here goes:

First the rules for the Fantastic Four meme:

1. Copy/paste the questions into your blog.

2. Type in your answers.

3. Tag four people on your list (note: TELL people you've tagged them or they may not know!)

4. Don't forget to change the answers to your own!

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FOUR PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER AND OVER:

* Work (Just until Wwe win the Mega-Millions!)

* Master's arms (The snuggliest and safest place to be.)

* Starbucks (Yummm-O)

* GameStop (With a teenage son it seems that I'm there almost daily.)

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FOUR PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME REGULARLY:

* Master (Makes the workday brighter.)

* Audra (Always shares the funny ones.)

* Susan (She just got married!)

* A lot of spammers who think I need viagra. (roflmao)

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FOUR PLACES I LIKE TO EAT:

* Bonefish Grille (I love the House Salad!)

* Fuji Sushi (They make a custom Maki for me that has salmon, cream cheese, cucumber, and avocado in it. mmmm!)

* Sizzling Bombay (It's all good, I really like the Chicken Tikka Masala though.)

* California Pizza Kitchen (Pick one, any one, you can't go wrong!)

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FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:

* Las Vegas

* Tied up and flogged

* Getting a pedicure
* hmmm - this is tough, I'm actually quite happy to be where I am, the three above are all that I can dream up at the moment.

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FOUR TV SHOWS I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:

I hate to say it, but none. W/we watch quite a few shows (thank heaven for DVR's.) But W/we never watch a show W/we've already seen. W/we will however watch movies more than once. So I'm going to list 4 of the TV Shows I like a lot - even though I don't watch an episode more than once, and then I'm going to list 4 movies that I've watched again and again, and would watch again right this very minute if I wasn't busy doing this silly meme.

* The Closer

* The Unit

* Criminal Minds

* The Daily Show

* The American President

* Legally Blonde

* The Princess Bride

* Love Actually

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FOUR PEOPLE THAT I THINK WILL RESPOND WITH A LITTLE LINKY LOVE:

* Constance (After her visitors return to their homes and she has time.)

* Cookie (When the kids settle in.)

* Princess (Once she gets rid of the bug which is making her sick.)

* Lady Esenem (In between getting settled into her new home.)

And that's the end.

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Peace In My Heart

Today, as I read the Daily OM for Aries (me) I was touched by the message that we can make a difference in the world, even if it's on a small scale. The message spoke of how we respond with compassion when we hear of the plight of another, whether it's someone nearby, farther away, or on the other side of the world. And how we feel burdened to help in small happenings and large catastrophic events equally, that our hearts are still filled with desire to help others.

This touched me because it's very true of me, even as I know of many people of whom it is not true. I won't assume it's simply because I'm an Aries, more likely it's a combination of factors, not the least of which include my familial birth order, who my parents were, and how they raised me. I know I have a need to help others, a desire to please, and that I feel things deeply. A friend was enduring a rough place in her life, and when she told me about it I began to weep. I felt so bad, as I wanted to comfort her, but there I was falling apart. She remarked then, "Poor Tapestry, you are the one who always feels everything so keenly." I hated that she was the one giving me comfort at that time, yet in fact, she is generally much stronger than I am all the time.

She's right, and in cases like that I wish I was better at keeping my distance and keeping perspective so that I can be of help. Being burdened by compassion for others is not always a gift, at least not in the sense we think of gifts. Yet, it IS a gift. To see the good in others, to love unconditionally, to care enough to reach out and help another soul on their life journey, this to me is life itself. It isn't something I can just turn-off like a light switch. I could no more harden my heart to the suffering of innocent victims than I could stop loving my son.

Another point in the message this morning was to suggest specific ways we may wish to help or reach out to others. There was quite a large paragraph devoted to assisting with financial aid, charity, time spent face to face helping, listening, doing for others. All of these things left me feeling a bit out of sorts. I'm not in a place at the moment where I can share financially with others, nor am I in a place where I have much in the way of time and energy to spare. What I do have must be guarded carefully and spent frugally so that I don't become run-down, unable to be of any use to myself or my family.

Finally, at the end of the message, the following words were shared:

When we hear of people in difficult situations, we can choose that moment to send some positive thoughts to them. It may not feel like much help, but it is something we can do at any time throughout our day. By turning your thoughts toward the creation of a better world today, you do make a difference.

And those words found my center, and resonated within me. That I can do. For those whom I know and strangers alike. For people in my family, my workplace, my hometown, and those who are geographically far away. I can make a difference. I can change the world, tip the balance of energy, and make this a better place for all of us.

And that brought peace to my heart.

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Recession-Proof?

So in this rotten economy, as I watch the stock market go bust, and auto-makers struggle to stay in business, and electronics stores fizzle, and my beloved Starbucks stores close up, I have come to realize there is probably nothing which is recession-proof.

Until I drove by a McDonalds, and realized that whether the economy is good or bad, McDonalds will always thrive. It seems that when we're broke, we can afford McDonalds (even when that is all we can afford!) And when we're living in "high-cotton" we still purchase what is offered there.

In fact, from an industry perspective (I'm in food service) it seems that when people are not feeling a pinch in their wallets, they are more inclined to demand healthier fare, which costs more than fatty stuff.

So perhaps, buying stock in McD's or purchasing a franchise, is a smart strategy for financial health.

Dunno.

Just another one of those things that make me go "Hmmmmmm..."

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