The Balance

Master asked me to update my wishlist and let Him know what I would like for Christmas. And I was stumped.

I'm never stumped when it comes to asking for gifts.

But boy howdy was I stumped.

I could not think of anything at all I wanted at first.

Well, not beyond having my dog back, and world peace of course. Just the big general things everyone wishes for. And frankly, I'd place more faith in the ability of science to bring me my dog back from the dead, than on world leaders to ever achieve lasting world peace. But anyway.

I look around O/our home, and W/we have anything and everything that a sane person could ever expect to have. W/we consume. When W/we want to, as W/we need to. Many of O/our possessions are enjoyed and put to good use. Some of the stuff just sits, unused, un-needed, or too time-consuming to fit our schedules.

And I realized that having the things W/we want does not make U/us happy.

Through one issue or another W/we have dealt with plenty of sadness and depression, lots of negative feelings. O/our material possessions have not helped U/us to cope with or work through any of the issues.

Sometimes I think the things W/we own end up owning U/us. It's rotten to be a slave to things which need to be taken care of.

So what was the answer to the question then.

Well, it turns out that what makes me happiest is when Master is happy. When He is at peace with Himself and His world, I am able to function. When He is in charge and feeling His power, I am whole. The best gift for me is to have a Master who is healthy and centered and balanced. Only He can do that for Himself, so the nicest thing He can give me is the gift of taking care of Himself.

And if He really wants to give me something that costs money, I realized that things which pampered the soul were the things I desired. Like a gift certificate for a pedicure. Or a massage. A facial. Perhaps a gift certificate to see a movie, or a play, or to a nice restaurant.

What appeals are the things which assist me with restoring balance and harmony to my life. I've dealt (generally privately) with so much imbalance and negativity in a variety of ways this year, that I feel very uncentered, and defeated. I realize I have not remained in tune with who I want to be in many instances. Yes, the words overwhelmed and lost come to mind here.

Material belongings can be such life-affirming things, but the getting and keeping and storing of too many of these possessions can be the opposite, life-draining. Preparing my Christmas wishlist has helped me to once again focus on that which is important, and to decide that somehow I need to re-center myself and become balanced again.

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