Ponderables

1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
2. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
3. I went to a bookstore and asked the clerk where the self-help section was located.  The clerk said if they told me it would defeat the purpose.
4. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
5. If a deaf child signs swear words does his mother wash his hands with soap?
6. Is there another word for synonym?
7. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
8. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
9. If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?
10. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
11. Why do they lock gasoline station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?
12. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
13. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have a “S” in it?
14. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
15. Can an Atheist get insurance against “Acts of God”?

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