Saturday, May 28, 2011

I remain one of the few people I know for whom this lifestyle is not about sex.  And for whom submission is not about taking a beating or being bound.  For me that is the stuff of fun and play, and yes, sex too.  But it's the easy, enjoyable part.  This lifestyle and submission are whole-life encompassing, and much harder to live outside of the bedroom/playroom.

I am reminded over and over again of the inter-connectedness of all of us, and the ripples of energy we send out constantly.  So too, there are constantly ripples of energy coming toward us from others.  How those ripples interact with us and how we choose to pass them on is fascinating to me.  At what point do my actions cease being what I intended and begin being what others perceive them to be? And where does my responsibility lie within that paradigm?

I am gratefully reminded again, by the Daily OM for Friday, May 27, 2011, that I can and should, practice shielding myself from the negative energy of other people.  Even when I know I am not the cause, not the problem, not the one the negativity is directed toward, I am drained through the interaction.  So just mentally reminding myself that this is not my issue does not always help me block the negative energy.  I am glad for the tips and tools for centering and shielding which are provided in the reading, and will work on adopting them for myself.

The past couple of weeks W/we've welcomed O/our son home for the summer from his first year away at university.  He did very well, with a 3.2 his first semester and a 4.0 the second semester.  He's working this summer as an intern in his chosen field, and just broke up with his girl-friend.  He will be fine, I'm sure.

I was asked last month how I was doing with the "empty-nest" thing, to which I replied, "Well I filled it with a husband didn't I?"  In truth, Master is my life, and I am complete.  But I am mentally and emotionally stable enough to be complete even were I alone.  I am able to acknowledge the emotion of wanting to keep my child with me always, and give value to that feeling, while knowing intellectually that his progression into adulthood and out into the world to make his own way is a positive outcome.

And so now that he's back home for a bit, it's nice to have him here, and he's always welcome here, and it's also really nice too when he's away and it's just Master and me.  And that doesn't make me a bad mother, lol.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right
place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment
*– Lady Dorothy Nevill*

Oh dear. Something for me to practice for sure.  I am such an open person, not much hidden with me, I say it as I see it.  Perhaps I need to learn that it's not necessary to tell all I know.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

*- Marianne Williamson*

How do we stop being afraid of our power and greatness?  What steps can we take to embrace our light, and let it shine?

You must do the things you think you cannot do.
*- Eleanor Roosevelt*

This may be the first step.  Like the Nike ad said - Just do it!

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.

*- Elbert Hubbard*

This might just be step 2.

I could go on and on I think.  That's the dilemma with this type of rambly, random, brain-dropping sort of entry.  There's no clear beginning, middle, nor end.  There is no one unifying theme of the writing, and once the point has been made you finish.  This is just me sharing little mental snapshots of thought.  I think I'll stop now and let all these little bits sink in and settle and see where I go next.  In general, even with the trials and difficulties in life, of which I do not share much here, but which do exist, even with them, I love life.  I love my life.  I love my Master.  I love my son.  There is very little of importance I would want to change about my life, and the things that aren't important just don't rule the day.  I will not grant them power over my feelings and emotions and energy and actions.  Life is very good.



  1. The Lady Dorothy Nevill quote made me smile, not least because I said the same words in my head as you wrote following it even before I'd read Definitely a 'work in progress' for me!

    Life IS good, despite its occasional challenges. Thank you for the positive energy you put out into the world.

    love and hugs xxx

  2. Huge hugs for you dear Elle! You're an awesome positive energy generator too - and I thank you. :)

  3. Congratulations on the successes of your son! You are surely right in enjoying his times at home as well as the privacy granted when he goes out into the world to live his own life. Your words reminded me that I raised my own children while continually trying to stay aware that I was not raising children, but rather adults. I loved them dearly, but always knew that my part of the bargain was to let them go when they were ready...

    hugs, swan

  4. Thank you Swan, the letting go is hard because we want to maintain the closeness and possibly some control. But control of our children is really just an illusion and not worth the price paid in the long run. And the closeness we desire needs space to nurture and foster it's growth. Quite the paradox.