Wisdom

So a respected teacher in the area of health once remarked to me that "When hunger is not the problem, food is not the solution."  Well that seemed like a no-brainer, only I realize that for me it isn't.  Food makes the  problems go away, I feel better, so it must have been the solution.  Right?

OK, that was a few years ago, I admit she was right, I know it in my head, and I'm willing to work on remembering and living with that truth.  And guess what I've found out?  It's still hard for me to even KNOW what the problem is.  I don't always recognize that it's not hunger.  I'm such a mess, I can't even tell when I'm hungry and when I've got emotional/psychological issues I'm avoiding.

grrr

I have at least 10 friends/acquaintances that have had bariatric surgery.  Some of them were dealing with additional health problems which needed a rapid weight loss in order to correct/improve.  Others were simply, in one person's words, "choosing ease".  By that, they meant that rather than struggle to lose weight by diet and exercise they chose an easier way to shed the unwanted pounds.  This person, and several others, were shedding the weight for cosmetic reasons, although to be honest their overall health cannot help but be improved.  Anyway, I think to myself constantly about having the procedure done too.  After all, it worked for all of them.  It can work for me.  And then I start to think about why I eat, why I don't exercise, and times in my life when I was successfully watching what I ate and exercising.  And I was very successful.  And I felt great.  The weight creeps back on when I grow comfortable with life and where I am, and stop putting in the work to stay on top of difficult interactions.  I avoid emotional discomfort by eating.  And I know in my heart, that even a few years after a successful surgery, I will revert back to emotional eating patterns unless I get those emotions under control.  I know this because I've seen it happen with 3 close friends.  They, like me, are emotional eaters.  And even though their physiology was changed to facilitate weight loss, they didn't learn how to deal with their difficult issues some other way besides by deadening the pain with food.  And they've all gained all the weight back.  And then some.

So I'm reluctant to have the surgery, because I know that I can succeed when I make up my mind to succeed, and if I don't learn other ways of coping the weight will come back.  In so many ways, it's like the Nike ad "Just do it."  I can and should just do it.  What is holding me back?  That's the million dollar question that I don't have an answer for.  Is it laziness?  Is it fear of the unknown?  ick.

I don't know yet.  But I am remembering that when hunger is not the issue food is not the answer, and that there are always second chances, it's never too late, it's time to work on the rewrite.

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