Monday, January 28, 2008

Limits And Boundaries

Limits and boundaries, concepts that I have needed to re-visit many times in my life. I suspect I will continue to need to re-evaluate my limits and boundaries throughout my life.
What has brought this up, you ask? (Just pretend you asked then.) Finding that I am physically not able to do all that I want to do. This past week was so much fun. We had a very full schedule, and enjoyed everything in it. The Ren Faire on Sunday, errands and shopping on Monday, dinner out with the "girls" on Tuesday, and a class and dinner with friends on Wednesday. We had a wonderful time, and all would be well if that was all we had to do. But alas, work we must, at least until we win the Mega-Millions. In the end, we cancelled plans to take a friend shooting on Thursday, and plans to go out for the evening on Friday with our son, and did not attend the event planned for today. There was nothing left in our energy bank.
I have discovered that the mental and physical stress and fatigue of working full time, living 24/7 with Master, son, and assorted pets, doesn't always leave much left for other things. I'm pretty sure I could handle 1 activity away from home a week. And if properly spaced, possibly even 2 activities. But it seems that going going going non-stop just doesn't work for me.
So saying no to invitations and activities is important. Not always easy because as a "pleaser" I don't like to disappoint others. And also because usually I want to go, so I don't like disappointing myself either.
I often wonder how people are able to keep such busy schedules. I even admire that. But it's also OK for me to keep a slower schedule. It's OK if I have to say "No" to an invitation. It's OK if I can't be at every event and activity. It's not only OK, it's healthy to recognize my limits, and then set my boundary accordingly. In the end it's not only good for me, but good for everyone around me too. I like the image of the fenced-in yard as my limit. I'm safe inside that limit, in my home, and if I go past that boundary my safety is not guaranteed.
It's funny that as I was searching for a picture to express the idea of limits and boundaries, I found lots of material which talked about "No Limits" and/or "No Boundaries". I think we all want to feel that we have no limits, that we can do it all, be all, and live life to the fullest. Yet I wonder how many times our "busy-ness" is a way of running from difficult realities, or avoiding unpleasant things. And does truly having no limits really respect who we are? Is it how we show others to respect us?
So today has been a day of rest, and hopefully a day for rejuvenation and healing. I read one of the Daily Oms from a week or so ago which spoke about healing, and that we have inside of us the ability to heal ourselves, particularly from the stresses of our own making. So today I have focussed on taking care of me, listening to what my body is telling me, and restoring some balance to my life.
I am like a bucket full of sand. The events, activities, and people in my life each remove a little sand as I experience them. If I'm not careful to replenish the supply, refill the sand, I will become an empty bucket, of no use to myself or anyone else and unable to handle the most routine and simple challenges that life presents.

1 comment:

  1. This post I originally shared on September 22, 2007 on my Yahoo 360. Not only is it always a good reminder for me, but it did come up again this past week. I've been recovering from a virus and while I've been able to go to work, I really haven't been up to anything else. I find that extremely frustrating, and hate that my friends are the type that go go go seemingly non-stop, while I seem to be the opposite. I continue to practice acceptance of who I am.