Ordinary Days

I guess sometimes I'm quiet because I don't feel like I have anything to say. I go through my days slowly learning how to be the best me I can be. And when I think I've figured one thing out something else presents itself. But all in all this state of growing and changing is very comfortable and normal to me. I rarely have "A-HAH!" moments, instead things just sink in until one day I notice that the thing that was a struggle is simply routine now.

So lately, let's see. I've been growing stronger and doing more with less bad results. In other words, I don't spend the next day in bed just because I did all the laundry, or cooked a pot of soup. And the aches and pains are not as sharp nor severe with each day that passes. Today I actually scrubbed the bathroom floor.

What I've also noticed is the lack of pain and discomfort which indicates that I've been living with pain and discomfort for far longer than I realized. Things like that creep up on you gradually, in tiny increments so that you don't notice. It's not like breaking a bone or having a heart attack (in that it's not as serious as those, but also that it's not as noticeable.) We really do have to walk a fine line where we pay attention to our health and our bodies without becoming hypochondriacs. So I'm appreciating my doctors and my health insurance plan and the medical technology that have all combined to allow me to be well.

Otherwise things just plod along I think. Master deals with the things in His life which need dealing with. Sometimes I think He needs to just be. But it's not my call. I care and I love Him so I fret and fuss and worry. I attempt to talk to Him and have Him talk to me. I try to share my experience and my truths in the hope that they can benefit Him. And then I have to let go and sit back and leave it alone. He will do as He sees best, without regard to whether or not I agree. And I'm reminded of dear Andrades Girl who is also learning to tell her Sir something once and then let it go. I wonder which one of us will learn that lesson first. :)

O/our son is looking for work, along with many hundreds of thousands of other people. He is communicating long distance with a nice young lady, and he is growing into his manhood. I will never stop being proud of his accomplishments, and dreaming of his tomorrows. His graduation from High School last May, 1 year early (he was 16) and with Honors, remains a proud mommy moment for me. He recently had his braces removed, more than 4 years after they were put on. That was a happy moment, more for him than me I know. He's gaining confidence in his driving skills, and I remain hopeful that he will maintain his sense of caution and maturity as he gets more comfortable behind the wheel.

We continue to care for my Mom's dog, who is my own dear Duke's litter mate. Her name is Duchess and she was the runt of the litter. Mom and Dad picked her out first, and then, with no intention or desire to get a dog, we went back and asked if there were any puppies left. The mother's owner had just one puppy left which he was planning to keep for himself and then decided to give to us. Of the 8 puppies this one was the most special to the man, but he let us have him. Anyway, Duchess is staying here due to Mom's physical incapacitation which makes it impossible for her to care for a pet. I also think Mom is hoping to regain some mobility and ability and take Duchess back. But for now she's here keeping us company.

There are all the normal comings and goings of life. No need for drama, no special events, just living my best life day in and day out as well as I'm able to do. That doesn't really seem to me to be the stuff that interesting blogs are made of. And yet that's all I have right now. In time, as Sir continues to heal and grow and morph into the next version of His own best self, it is possible that W/we will be more social, go to play parties and such, or do whatever it is that He chooses, and which makes Him happy. And it's also OK that W/we aren't doing these things right now.

I'm very comfortable with the phases and cycles of life, and the changes we all encounter. And I've never believed that any particular phase was forever. Everything passes and the next phase begins. This was really brought home to me clearly when my son was born. Oh how I agonized over those sleepless nights of colic! And while they seemed never-ending to my sleep-deprived mind, they were in fact over in a heart-beat, only to be replaced by the next horrendous phase. In time the phases stopped being awful as I realized that they were just phases of his growth which I had better enjoy in spite of the difficulty, because when they were gone that was it, and they would be replaced by something more complex. THAT was a guarantee. And to my mind that is true of all of life.

Many years ago I was given a book by Ann Kiemel called "I'm Out To Change My World". This collection of poems was delightful to me, and one in particular has stayed with me over the years. I have printed it out and it hangs on my office wall as a daily reminder.

So many mornings I'd say, "Mom, I don't want to go to school today."
And she'd push me out the door with my brother and sister and say,
"Don't you kids know
that life is made up of ordinary days
when there's no one to pat you on the back?
When there's no one to praise you?
When there's no one to honor you?
When there's no one to see how brave and noble you are?
Almost all of life is made up of ordinary days.
And it's how you live your ordinary days
that determines whether or not you have big moments.
Get out there and make something of your ordinary days.
-Ann Kiemel

I think even without making a conscious decision to do so that the spirit of this poem sums up my approach to life and how I try to go through my days. Doesn't make for titillating reading, it just is what it is. Honestly, I'm OK with some calm and tranquil and drama free days anyway. Like the picture above, I'm happy to walk along a boring, flat, and easy path. I don't need the struggle of steep hills and rough terrain. While there are times those places must be navigated, I'm good with the uninteresting normal days too.

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