Mom And Me

Mom's surgery was this past Monday. 6 days after my pneumonia diagnosis. I kept falling asleep at the hospital, and was generally all-around miserable, but then again I had it easy compared to Mom. She did great, the surgeon said the procedure went well, he was pleased. She had some trouble coming out of the anesthesia, but all in all she's doing well now, is in the In-Patient therapy place, and is making good progress. A few weeks there and I think they'll send her home.

In the meantime, I've definitely over-done and have paid the price. Yes, I'm breathing better, the antibiotic worked on the infection, and my breathing is much better. Today was my last dose of the super-drug, and as long as my breathing remains good in the coming days then fine, otherwise it will be back to the Dr to ask for more drugs.

But the fatigue is monstrous. And I understand it takes quite awhile before that part goes away. I wake up in the morning feeling mostly OK, but by the end of my workday (even before the end) I'm just done-in. But instead of coming home to rest it's off to the hospital, and then some other errands if needed. There's simply too much demanding my time and attention and energy right now, and I have nothing to give. The bucket is completely devoid of sand. And I don't know where to get more sand to put in it.

I do so appreciate the dear friends who were willing to be part of my grumpy-bitchy-stir-craziness while confined to the bed last week. The Dr put me out of work for 3 days, and while in some ways that was NOT enough time to recover from pneumonia, in other ways it's just as well I'm not stuck in this house. I even found a way to impose my ickiness on friends "virtually". But to my defense, they didn't HAVE to respond to the IM's of grump I was sending! lol

Anyway, I'm slowly improving, don't look for me at many social activities any time soon though. Mom seems to be doing beautifully, so far. And that's all I can ask.

I Think I'm Seriously F***ked-Up!

Now I ask you, what normal person, browsing a list of items offered up for other Freecyclers would immediately get a mental picture something like the above images?? (No not exactly like the above images, just along those lines?)

Here's the phrase/email which brought such images to mind:

• OFFER box of electric plugs

roflmao
OK - maybe I'm the only person with a sense of humor this far gone (although I think I know at least a few other people who would be wondering about electric butt plugs...)
But I was seriously no more good as I cracked my little self up!

And no, the ad is actually offering actual electric plugs - you know, hardware type stuff, not related to kink - well, no more than anything is related to kink, lol!


Whew - ok, letting it go now, enough said I'm sure. I hope you got to laugh or at least chuckle the way I did.

:)

Very Smart PirateDaddy

This picture kind of describes my Daddy without the need for words, in my opinion. He's the smartest man in the world!

(well duh - He was smart enough to choose me...)

;-)

Free Stuff!

Sometime last year my son learned about a new thing Microsoft was doing to try to help their search engine compete with Google. It's a group of word games and trivia games, some a little more fun than others (although what appeals to me may not be the same as what appeals to you.)

Anyway, I play the games, the answers are then checked using the Microsoft search engine, thereby giving themselves lots and lots of hits (what search engines need in order to be successful.) Each game I complete awards me tickets/points, some games 25 tickets, some 20 some 15 (you get the point.)

Once I build up enough points I can cash them in for prizes. So far, I have earned a free Zune (yes, the ones that sell for $150-200,) a free wireless X-Box controller, and have a few other items I'd like to redeem tickets for. The list of prizes includes things like a Roomba Vacuum Robot, Microsoft Vista, plenty of other hardware and software for computers and the X-Box, as well as frequent flyer miles and other things. Additionally, I can just donate my points to charity, and Microsoft will pay them in cash.

The cool thing, is that I have fun with little games and puzzles like this, and would play anyway when I have some time and want to unwind (or say, when I'm on forced bedrest due to some illness or whatnot.) So these are the kind of things I'd enjoy even if they weren't giving me free stuff!

I just thought I'd share the info with you. Hey, we all know Google is superior, isn't that why we're here at Blogger instead of some other blog engine? But if that makes the competition do things that can benefit us, I'm all for it! So if you want to check it out, feel free to Click Here.

Have fun and happy winning!

Bed Rest Anyone?

This lingering illness that I've been coping with for the past 4-6 weeks turns out to be pneumonia. I KNEW something was wrong - something different than has ever been wrong before. I know my body, I know what being sick is like, how my body reacts and heals, and this time has been unlike any other time in my life. And now I know why. Pneumonia - I've never had it before.

Well, I guess I have to stop saying that - because I have it now. So bed rest it is for the next 5 days. I did spend the past 4 days in bed too. But hey, who's counting? My bedsores have bedsores! ;)

Talk about no energy, and being unable to breathe! Truly, you don't know how much you miss something until you don't have it. I sure do miss being able to breathe - nice, deep, cleansing breaths. But that's ok - I'm going to get better, and then I'll be able to breathe again.

Driving Force

My son is 16, and has had his Learner's Permit for awhile now. He has been reluctant to actually learn to drive though, and even unwilling to enroll in a Driver's Ed class.

I've taken a very hands-off approach with him, not wanting to pressure him, or rush him. I have always believed in a more Montessori approach to child rearing. Montessori can be summed up very simply: Follow the child. And that is how I have tried to raise my son. Following him, his needs, at his pace, as he was ready, willing, or able. So, when he wanted to believe in Santa/tooth fairy/easter bunny/etc, we did. When he decided he didn't believe in them anymore I didn't try to persuade him otherwise, I simply told him the truth and allowed him to lead the way. I did the same thing with his ascent into puberty.

So it was with driving. Until tonight. I decided to force him to drive home from the grocery store this evening - 2.5 miles on 30 mile an hour back roads in a very small little town with 1 stop light, which we didn't even encounter.

And as I suspected, he was awesome! He did GREAT!!! I had him move around the back of the parking lot a bit first to get the feel for the brakes, accelerator, steering, and overall feel of the car, and then he was off. And while I calmly talked him through the experience, I made sure to include appropriate encouragement, praise, correction, teaching, and all-around coaching and mentoring.

And while I'm very proud of him, I'm not at all surprised, because I knew he'd do just fabulously, and he did indeed.

Sometimes we can't just sit back and follow the child - even when that has always worked well in the past. I'm grateful I'm still able to learn and adapt as a parent, and able to find a positive approach that works for my son.

And hey, he really can't complain too much, I surely didn't get to learn how to drive in a luxurious (and fast) Mercedes AMG C32!

:)

Daddy's Gonna Eat Your Fingers

I was packing for my business trip and my 3-year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her finger's with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

Race Day!

The season started again! Woohoo! And it's an historic season - the COT (car of tomorrow) is now the car of today - it's here, so big changes and new things to adjust to, no matter which make or model vehicle the team is driving. And the addition of Toyota to more teams, bigger name teams could be historic too.

Today marks the 50th running of the Daytona 500 - historic in and of itself.

This season there are 4 racers joining Nascar from open wheel racing. This is new, different, and quite news-worthy. Most interesting to hear about the entry of these drivers into this sport from their own mouths. They remark about how helpful and open and friendly everyone is, even as they are tough competitors. But how cool to have a former Indy 500 winner now competing to win the Daytona 500?

But any of these reasons pale in comparison to the real news this season. Former competitors, and bitter "enemies" of racing, Dale Earnhardt Jr and Jeff Gordon, are now team mates. Dale grew dissatisfied with his former car owner and last season annouced that he was going to leave the company. Not long after that, Rick Hendricks Motorsports picked up Jr, adding him to an already impressive line-up!

Rick Hendricks owns Jeff Gordon's car, #24. Jeff Gordon owns Jimmie Johnson's car #48. Mary Hendricks own Casey Mears' car #5. And Rick Hendricks owns Dale Earnhardt Jr's car #88. Now, of course, Jeff and Mary co-own their respective cars with Rick, but Rick lists each of them as the owner, even though Hendrick Motor Sports is the corporation over them all.

Just seeing Jeff and Dale talking and laughing together and getting along, and working together, is a very eerie sight indeed! :) Yes, my tongue is a little in my cheek here - I suspect these men have never actually disliked one another as much as their fans have. And yes, both men have cultivated that among the fans. As they've been heard to remark, any attention is good attention. Whether a fan claims to love you or hate you it all boils down to name recognition. That's the name of the game.

And while I am a team player, and I hope any of the Hendricks cars win, in the end, I really would prefer to have my own car place first. Go Jeffy!! :)

**Post Race add-on: the COT did Jeff in, but that's ok, it was a learning experience and the car will continue to improve. Jimmie and Casey did well but were involved in wrecks or would have done better. Dale actually did the best of the 4, and I'm glad to have him on the team. It was a good race to watch overall with a lot of interest, unlike some of the races in the past where it was over pretty much from the beginning.

Looking onward to next week's race in California!

Go HMS - Go JEFF!!!

What Every Daddy's Girl Wants To Hear

Father Figure (by George Michael)

That's all I wanted
Something special, something sacred -
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side

Sometimes I think that you'll never
Understand me
Maybe this time is forever..
Say it can be

That's all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred -
In your life
Just for one moment
To be warm and naked
At my side

Sometimes I think that you'll never
Understand me
But something tells me together
We'd be happy

(Baby)
I will be your father figure
(Oh baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(I'd love to)
I will be your preacher teacher
(Be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(It would make me)
I will be your father figure
(Very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(Please let me)
I will be the one who loves you -
Until the end of time

That's all I wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken
For a crime
That's all I wanted
Just to see my baby's
Blue eyed shine
This time I think that my lover
Understands me
If we have faith in each other
Then we can be
Strong

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time

If you are the desert
I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger -
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That's what I'll be. .

So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling
Don't think of me

Because all I ever wanted
It's in your eyes baby, baby
And love can't lie, no...
(Greet me with the eyes of a child)
My love is always telling me so...
(Heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won't let you go, my baby

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
Will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
(So I am gonna love you)
Until the end of time
I will be your father
I will be your preacher
I'll be your daddy
I will be the one who loves you until the end of time

AdSense

A few days ago Daddy added an AdSense button to my page, like the one on His page, so that W/we can generate some income. This process was a little confusing for me, and while Daddy is always very patient and gentle with me, I suspect I pushed Him close to the edge as He set this up. (In my own defense, I must say I don't think it helped that one of O/our cats was clamoring for His attention at just that time as well, which included walking on the keyboard, stepping on the TV/DVR remote and losing 2 minutes of OT in a sports game Daddy was also trying to watch while adding the button to my page...)

anyway, as I was saying...

After I cancelled some of His formatting (by mistake) and He had to start over, and Ripley stepped on the remote (I swear she did it on purpose) and He had to cuss, the button was finally added to my page. Then of course I had to play with it for awhile. (Isn't that what buttons are for?? - to play with?????) (After all, Daddy likes my buttons...)

anyway, stop getting me off the topic

So I try a bunch of different colors and sizes, shapes, and positions on the page until I get it to look just right. And now here it is. Or there it was. Whatever. And Daddy casually remarks I should blog about it.

I laugh, thinking He's just being funny, or giving me a suggestion for a blog topic (because we all know how hard it is for me to find something to blog about.)

anyway

Today it finally hit me, Daddy hasn't quite figured out my density level when it comes to instructions yet. I do best with very simple, straightforward instructions like:

1. Get me beer


2. On your knees


3. Write a blog about (X)


4. Do this, do it now, do it this way

See what I mean? These are all so much easier for me to recognize as wants and needs of Daddy to be obeyed as opposed to gentle suggestions or questions.

*sigh*

I wasn't ignoring the direction about writing the blog about the adsense - I didn't understand or get it - until now.

Do I at least get credit for turning in the work, even if it's late? Can I do some extra-credit to make up for it? And is there any continuing education for Daddy's to work on being more specific with dizzy little girls who need things spelled out?

Anyway, back to the adsense thing, because I have found this part very interesting. Google picks the ads that appear, so I never know what is going to be in the button, it changes. So I click to see what they are, and I'm finding my ads are very gentle, soft type ads like geneology research things, and jewelry for remembering lost babies and children, and humanitarian working vacations for things like Habitat for Humanity, and eternal reef memorials. Nice things, gentle things, things that fit me.

And when I click on the button on Daddy's page, it's usually for different types of stuff. Harder things. Not gentle things. Things like giant telescoping hunks of metal (I'm not sure what you were supposed to do with it, seemed very industrial to me...) or things like are you going to heaven or hell?? (wow) IQ tests (ugh) other icky things. Not nice, soft gentle things at all.

So it seems that Google really is choosing ads that suit the page and the blog/blogger, at least the content of the page/blog somehow, possibly the theme chosen? I'm not sure how it's done, I'm sure it's automated, and I'm impressed.

Oh, and by the way, if you have a spare second while you're on my page or Daddy's page each day? Would ya mind clicking the buttons? We get a few pennies every time the buttons get clicked, and you pay nothing. I promise we'll return the favor if you decide to put buttons on your own pages. Just let me know. :)

Who's Your Daddy?

Perhaps this will explain why I'd prefer to vote for Jack Sparrow, lol! Seems I've always had a thing for Pirates!! I first took this quiz and posted it on my old blog back in 2006. Some things just aren't meant to change!

Your Daddy Is Johnny Depp

What You Call Him: Daddy-o Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings

Who's Your Daddy?

A Day Off Work

So here in Maryland today was the Primary Election Day, and they hold elections in the schools. So schools were closed, which gives me a day off work. I'll take it! :)

Not only did I vote, I got a whole lot of errands done too. After I voted, they gave me a little sticker like the one above. When I was looking for a picture of it online to share here I also found the sticker underneath - sometimes I wish we could vote for Jack Sparrow, lol.

*sigh*

There aren't any easy answers when it comes to politics, and the world today. Not in the realm of foreign policy, domestic policy, the economy, the war, nothing. We long for easy answers, and the politicians want to tell us that they can fix the problems. But truly, they can't. It just isn't that easy.

And yet, we're so blessed in this nation to be able to participate in the process this way. To have the right as well as the responsibility to vote. Whether we make an informed choice; choose from our gut; choose from gossip/rumor/innuendo; or just show up and push a button from complete ignorance; we still have the chance to make a difference. And that's a gift beyond measure.

So yes, I voted. And my ever optimistic mind and heart trust that in my small way I make a difference in this world.

Finding The Positive

Sometimes in life we seem to get handed lemon after lemon after lemon. And when I read the following Daily OM I realized that lemons aren't always lemons, we can look at them in a different light, and they may in fact be yummy lemon bars, or even something wonderful like lemonade. It all depends on how we look at the lemon, and/or what we do with the lemon. Perception really is everything it seems. See what you think:

February 6, 2008
Turn It Around
Laboring Under A Label

We live in a culture that uses labels as a means of understanding the world and the people living in it. As a result, many of us find ourselves laboring under a label that has a negative connotation. Unless we can find a way to see the good in such a label, we may feel burdened by an idea of ourselves that is not accurate. It is important to remember that almost nothing in this world is all good or all bad, and most everything is a complex mixture of gifts and challenges. In addition, different cultures revere certain qualities over others, but this does not mean that these qualities are inherently good or bad. For example, a culture that elevates outgoing behavior will label an introvert in a negative way, calling them antisocial. In truth, the ability to spend time alone is one that most great artists, mystics, and visionaries share. Owning the positive side of this label can lead us deeper into our gifted visions and fertile imaginations.

When we look into the lives of any of the great people in history, we always find that they had quirks and eccentricities that earned them less than ideal labels from the societies in which they lived. Many famous artists and musicians were considered to be isolated loners or disruptive troublemakers, or sometimes both, yet these people altered history and contributed to the world an original vision or advances in our understanding of the universe. If we can remember this as we examine our own selves and the labels people use to describe us, we find that there is a bright side to any characterization.

If you have been labeled, remember that all you have to do to see the positive side is to turn the label around. For example, you may be considered to be overly emotional, and the fact that you are perceived this way may make you feel out of control. But notice, too, the gifts of being able to feel and express your emotions, even in a world that doesn’t always encourage that. You might begin to see yourself as brave and open-hearted enough to stay alive to your feelings. You may also see that there are certain paths and professions in which this is a necessary ability. As you turn your label around, the light of your true nature shines to guide you on your way.

The New Miracle Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog... Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head!

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no... I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door!

What Should I Be When I Grow Up?

Well, according to this test, I should be a Social Worker. Hmmm...my first thought was that I'd take that under advisement and let you know what I decide once I grow up. I mean geez, don't rush me.

My second thought, as I was reading the description they give of a Social Worker is that my current job is actually pretty darn close already.

My third thought by the time I got to the end of the decription is that they have also described the duties and life of a slave. If I didn't think my contribution to Master's life made His world a better and happier place, then I don't think I'd be a very good slave, nor a very happy slave.

Anyway, I get a kick out of many of these blogthings, especially the ones, like this one, that really seem to work, for whatever goofy reason. I followed the directions exactly and honestly, and the below description really does fit me in so many ways.

You Should Be a Social Worker

You are deeply caring and empathetic. You are able to take on other people's problems as if they were your own. Sensitive and intuitive, you understand human emotions well. Helping others gives you the most joy in life. You feel like it's your purpose in life. You do best when you: - Have a lot of responsibility - Greatly impact someone's life with your work You would also be a good philanthropist or stay at home parent.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

And Yet Another Cherry Popped!

Wow, it's been a big weekend! Today was another first for me, Master and I attended the KinkyNic for the first time. Never mind we've been trying to attend for over a year, today was the day thanks to our dearest friend Lady Esenem, we made it.

And what a perfect day it was. Beautiful weather, a sunny, yet chilly day, with a great fire going, plenty of warm and friendly people (of course!) And scrumptious food :) (Even if I did have to use a port-a-potty *pout* *pout*)

I finally met a long-time friend from the internet, one lovely Plant-Lady, was able to put some other faces with names, got to see many other friends known from other places (always a pleasure,) and met a bunch of super folks.

I know I had a wonderful time, and I'm glad we went. But really - 2 cherries gone in two days??? whew, I'm exhausted!! lol

Of course, the wonderful Lady we were there with is one of those friends who is a gift I give myself, and I'm so happy to have her in my life. thanks for letting me tease you, and for letting me come to your defense and stand up for you too. (Had to throw that in, just in case you forgot I did that too, lol.)

OMG - I almost forgot - a 3rd cherry - today was the first time in my life I ever ate crappola too, roflmao!!!

Be sure to ask the nice Lady for the recipe. :)

A First For Me Tonight!

Yes, it's true, I lost my live-in-person-Lady-Terps-Game cherry tonight!!

The team played a wonderful game against UVA at College Park, and I got to see it in person with Master, our son, and friends of ours. We enjoyed a yummy dinner beforehand, followed by an exhilerating game.

http://umterps.cstv.com/sports/w-baskbl/recaps/020808aaa.html

The link above takes you to an excellent story about the game, and the standings for the women. At 25-2 they've had an incredible season. And their coach, Brenda Frese, is pregnant with twins, and due in about 2 weeks. Best wishes to her, and to the team as they get set for the upcoming tournaments.

And you thought I didn't have a cherry left... ;)

Not A Fan Of Organized Anything

I was talking with my dear friend Magdalena this past Sunday. We've already come to terms with the fact that we are, in fact, deeply spiritual people albeit not lovers of organized religion. So Sunday, we were discussing the unfortunate presence of politics and personal agendas in the various lifestyle groups. While these groups can have something to offer, the human-made organizations can become places of unrest and disagreement and even disagreeable-ness.

I've certainly found it best to keep my distance from the system, maintaining my friendships and place as a person within the community at large, accepting of all, demanding of none, answerable only to self and Sir.

But what I think Magdalena and I found most unsettling is that in this arena of kink, and to each his own, etc, there exists such a current of intolerance, much as is found within the realm of organized religions. This is the one place where ideally speaking, we would anticipate and expect no such bunk. And yet you find it in the educational groups, the femmedom groups, between groups of non-like genders and orientations, and the list goes on. The one community-at-large I would expect open-mindedness and good-will and free acceptance just because of who we are, has turned out to be no better than the vanilla world I came from. And that saddens me.

I will never give up sharing my message of open-minded acceptance and tolerance and love for all. I believe it can happen if we try.

Funeral

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral.........I'm a gynecologist."

The proctologist fainted.

Drink Up!

Here's a link to some yummy chocolatey cocktails to enjoy anytime - and especially with Valentine's Day coming up!

CHOCOLATEY COCKTAILS


I hope you check them out and enjoy.

Somedays Are Like That...Even In Australia

ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY

by Judith Viorst

I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. At breakfast Anthony found a Corvette Sting Ray car kit in his cereal box and Nick found a Junior Undercover Agent code ring in his cereal box but in my breakfast cereal box all I found was breakfast cereal. I think I'll move to Australia. In the car pool Mrs. Gibson let Becky have a seat by the window. Audrey and Elliott got seats by the window too. I said I was being scrunched. I said I was being smushed. I said, if I don't get a seat by the window I am going to be carsick. No one even answered. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. At school Mrs. Dickens liked Paul's picture of the sailboat better than my picture of the invisible castle. At singing time she said I sang too loud. At counting time she said I left out sixteen. Who needs sixteen? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I could tell because Paul said I wasn't his best friend anymore. He said that Philip Parker was his best friend and that Albert Moyo was his next best friend and that I was only his third best friend. I hope you sit on a tack, I said to Paul. I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in Australia. There were two cupcakes in Philip Parker's lunch bag and Albert got a Hershey bar with almonds and Paul's mother gave him a piece of jelly roll that had little coconut sprinkles on the top. Guess whose mother forgot to put in dessert? It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. That's what it was, because after school my mom took us all to the dentist and Dr. Fields found a cavity just in me. Come back next week and I'll fix it, said Dr. Fields. Next week, I said, I'm going to Australia. On the way downstairs the elevator door closed on my foot and while we were waiting for my mom to go get the car Anthony made me fall where it was muddy and then when I started crying because of the mud Nick said I was a crybaby and while I was punching Nick for saying crybaby my mom came back with the car and scolded me for being muddy and fighting. I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered. So then we went to the shoestore to buy some sneakers. Anthony chose white ones with blue stripes. Nick chose red ones with white stripes. I chose blue ones with red stripes but then the shoe man said, We're all sold out. They made me buy plain old white ones, but they can't make me wear them. When we picked up my dad at his office he said I couldn't play with his copying machine, but I forgot. He also said to watch out for the books on his desk, and I was careful as could be except for my elbow. He also said don't fool around with his phone, but I think I called Australia. My dad said please don't pick him up anymore. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. There were lima beans for dinner and I hate limas. There was kissing on TV and I hate kissing. My bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my marble went down the drain, and I had to wear my railroad-train pajamas. I hate my railroad-train pajamas. When I went to bed Nick took back the pillow he said I could keep and the Mickey Mouse night light burned out and I bit my tongue. The cat wants to sleep with Anthony, not with me. It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mom says some days are like that. Even in Australia.

Cannibal Restaurant

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

MENU

+ Tourist: $5
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the cook over and asked,

"Why such a price difference for the politicians?"

The cook replied,

"Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of crap, it takes all morning."

Catalyst

Submissives want a Catalyst. Perhaps we need a Catalyst. I know I do.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source
cat·a·lyst /ˈkætlɪst/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kat-l-ist] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. Chemistry. a substance that causes or accelerates a chemical reaction without itself being affected.
2. something that causes activity between two or more persons or forces without itself being affected.
3. a person or thing that precipitates an event or change: His imprisonment by the government served as the catalyst that helped transform social unrest into revolution.
4. a person whose talk, enthusiasm, or energy causes others to be more friendly, enthusiastic, or energetic.
[Origin: 1900–05; cataly(sis) + (-i)st]
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Yes, a catalyst, my catalyst, someone who precipitates change within me. To me this means the one who influences me, causes reactions and changes within me, and does not become less in the process. The one who is strong enough for both of us, and doesn't allow my faults to bring Him down. The one who is my pain and pleasure, and is able to take me where He wants me to go. My catalyst.

You'll be the vein

You'll be the pain

You'll be the scar

You'll be the road, rolling below

The wheels of a car

And all of your thoughts are gone

Don't know if I'm strong enough now

You'll be the vein

You'll be the pain

You'll be the

Catalyst
(Anna Nalick, Catalyst, Wreck of the Day)

The one who is my pain, my strength, my catalyst.
Thank you Master.

This Flower Submits

And now you ask in your heart, "How shall we distinguish that which is good in pleasure from that which is not good?"

Go to your fields and your gardens, and you shall learn that it is the pleasure of the Bee to gather honey of the flower,

But it is also the pleasure of the flower to yield it's honey to the Bee.

For to the Bee the flower is a fountain of life,

And to the flower the Bee is a messenger of love,

And to both, Bee and flower, the giving and the receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy.

(Kahlil Gibran, pg 73, The Prophet)

Stuttering

A teacher is explaining biology to her 2nd grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler that lives next door gotta running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...And before he could say "Fuck", the rottweiler ate him! "